Slate Books - How To!: Don’t Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn’t know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn’t want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That’s because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana’s wondering how she can preserve her identity while they absorb each others’ family traditions. On this episode of How To!, guest host Hélène Biandudi Hofer brings on Karyn Langhorne Folan, author of Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out. All three discuss the struggles and joys in their respective interracial marriages. 

If you want to learn more about Dana’s work, check out AfroLA

If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Your Hidden Biases.”

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Slate Books - Mom & Dad: How to Keep House While Drowning

On this episode: Elizabeth and Jamilah are joined by KC Davis. KC is author of the book How To Keep House While Drowning, host of the podcast Struggle Care, and is well known for her TikTok content. KC shares how to divorce yourself from any shame and pressure you feel about the state of your house. She breaks down the differences between tidy, organized, and clean. Finally, she explains how to make chores not just equal but equitable.

Recommendations: 

Jamilah recommends The Woman King

KC recommends Maintenance Phase

Elizabeth recommends Science Comics

Bonus recommendation: You Don’t Have to Fold Your Laundry by Rebecca Onion. 

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.

Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. 

Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola.

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New Books in Native American Studies - Michael S. Green, “Lincoln and Native Americans” (Southern Illinois UP, 2021)

President Abraham Lincoln ordered the largest mass execution of Indigenous people in American history, following the 1862 uprising of hungry Dakota in Minnesota and suspiciously speedy trials. He also issued the largest commutation of executions in American history for the same act. But there is much more to the story of Lincoln’s interactions and involvement, personal and political, with Native Americans, as Michael S. Green shows. Lincoln and Native Americans (Southern Illinois UP, 2021) explains how Lincoln thought about Native Americans, interacted with them, and was affected by them.

Although ignorant of Native customs, Lincoln revealed none of the hatred or single-minded opposition to Native culture that animated other leaders and some of his own political and military officials. Lincoln did far too little to ease the problems afflicting Indigenous people at the time, but he also expressed more sympathy for their situation than most other politicians of the day. Still, he was not what those who wanted legitimate improvements in the lives of Native Americans would have liked him to be.

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Slate Books - How To!: The Price You Pay for College

College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn’t help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber, New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for College. He shows Maya how to narrow down the list of potential colleges by asking insightful questions of the schools and, ultimately, yourself. Then he talks to Melissa about how to pay for it without harming the rest of the family’s finances. 

Ron’s questions for parents: 

  1. What do you remember your parent or parents saying to you the first time they talked about what college would cost and what, if anything, they would pay?
  2. Or if there was silence around the topic of paying for college, what did it speak?
  3. How much was your parent or your parents willing to pay for your education? How did you feel about that? 
  4. If your parents paid your way, is it possible that you should not feel obligated to do the same, given how much the world has changed?
  5. And if your parents paid nothing, have you asked yourself whether 15 years of extreme thrift starting now (or going deep into debt 15 years from now to pay for your child’s first-choice college) may not erase whatever pain lingers from that period long ago -- or may create new conflict with your spouse and kids?
  6. How much might you be willing to borrow -- or delay repayment of your own student loans?
  7. How long are you willing to delay retirement to meet this goal?


If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Raise a Future College Athlete.” 

Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.  

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Slate Books - Gabfest Reads: Searching for a Happy Ending

John Dickerson talks with author Ada Calhoun about her new memoir, Also a Poet: Frank O’Hara, My Father, and Me. What started as Calhoun’s attempt to finish the biography of Frank O’Hara that her father started, turned into a gripping story of Calhoun’s relationship with her father. Calhoun and Dickerson talk about not pulling punches when it comes to how nice family members are, why you can’t pre-plan a happy ending, and what her father thought of the book. 


Tweet us your questions @SlateGabfest or email us at gabfest@slate.com. (Messages could be quoted by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise.)


Podcast production by Cheyna Roth

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New Books in Native American Studies - Mohamed Adhikari, “Destroying to Replace: Settler Genocides of Indigenous Peoples” (Hackett, 2022)

Today I talked to Dr. Mohamed Adhikari about his book Destroying to Replace: Settler Genocides of Indigenous Peoples (Hackett, 2022).

"This book explores settler colonial genocides in a global perspective and over the long durée. It does so systematically and compellingly, as it investigates how settler colonial expansion at times created conditions for genocidal violence, and the ways in which genocide was at times perpetrated on settler colonial frontiers. This volume will prove invaluable to teachers and students of imperialism, colonialism, and human rights." — Lorenzo Veracini, Swinburne University of Technology, and author of The World Turned Inside Out: Settler Colonialism as a Political Idea

"A succinct, insightful, and highly readable text discussing an issue that deserves to be integral to any world history course. Using four finely crafted, yet widely dispersed, case studies Adhikari strikingly shows how vulnerability and resistance occur as the waves of global capitalism hit indigenous societies." — Robert Gordon, University of Vermont

“Illuminating and compelling. This is a volume about genocide, a recurrent phenomenon in world history that, disturbingly, has created our modernity. Mohamed Adhikari equips the reader with a sound conceptual introduction, then provides four detailed yet clear accounts of genocide in the Canary Islands, Queensland, California, and German Southwest Africa. He has expertly provided the big picture as well as the specifics true to each history. Primary sources from each episode invite the reader’s participation in analysis. A book with which to think and to teach others.” — Lora Wildenthal, Rice University

This interview was conducted by Dr. Miranda Melcher whose doctoral work focused on post-conflict military integration, understanding treaty negotiation and implementation in civil war contexts, with qualitative analysis of the Angolan and Mozambican civil wars.

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New Books in Native American Studies - David Crow, “The Pale-Faced Lie: A True Story” (Sandra Jonas Publishing, 2019)

A violent ex-con forces his son to commit crimes in this unforgettable memoir about family and survival.

Growing up on the Navajo Indian Reservation, David Crow and his three siblings idolized their dad, a self-taught Cherokee who loved to tell his children about his World War II feats. But as time passed, David discovered the other side of Thurston Crow, the ex-con with his own code of ethics that justified cruelty, violence, lies—even murder. Intimidating David with beatings, Thurston coerced his son into doing his criminal bidding. David’s mom, too mentally ill to care for her children, couldn’t protect him.

Through sheer determination, David managed to get into college and achieve professional success. When he finally found the courage to refuse his father’s criminal demands, he unwittingly triggered a plot of revenge that would force him into a deadly showdown with Thurston Crow. David would have only twenty-four hours to outsmart his father—the brilliant, psychotic man who bragged that the three years he spent in the notorious San Quentin State Prison had been the easiest time of his life.

Raw and palpable, The Pale-Faced Lie: A True Story (Sandra Jonas Publishing, 2019) is an inspirational story about the power of forgiveness and the strength of the human spirit.

David Crow spent his early years on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona and New Mexico. Through grit, resilience, and a thirst for learning, he managed to escape his abusive childhood, graduate from college, and build a successful lobbying firm in Washington, DC. Today, David is a sought-after speaker, giving talks to various businesses and trade organizations around the world. Throughout the years, he has mentored over 200 college interns, performed pro bono service for the charitable organization Save the Children, and participated in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. An advocate for women, he donates a percentage of his royalties from The Pale-Faced Lie to Barrett House, a homeless shelter for women in Albuquerque. David and his wife, Patty, live in the suburbs of DC. Visit him at davidcrowauthor.com, on Facebook @authordavidcrow, on Twitter @author_crow, and on Instagram @dravidcrowauthor.

Daniel Moran earned his B.A. and M.A. in English from Rutgers University and his Ph.D. in History from Drew University. The author of Creating Flannery O’Connor: Her Critics, Her Publishers, Her Readers, he teaches research and writing at Rutgers and co-hosts the podcast Fifteen-Minute Film Fanatics, found at https://fifteenminutefilm.podb... and on Twitter @15MinFilm.

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New Books in Native American Studies - Ana Sabau, “Riot and Rebellion in Mexico: The Making of a Race War Paradigm” (U Texas Press, 2022)

Many scholars assert that Mexico’s complex racial hierarchy, inherited from Spanish colonialism, became obsolete by the turn of the nineteenth century as class-based distinctions became more prominent and a largely mestizo population emerged. But the residues of the colonial caste system did not simply dissolve after Mexico gained independence. Rather, Ana Sabau argues, ever-present fears of racial uprising among elites and authorities led to persistent governmental techniques and ideologies designed to separate and control people based on their perceived racial status, as well as to the implementation of projects for development in fringe areas of the country. 

Riot and Rebellion in Mexico: the Making of a Race War Paradigm (University of Texas Press, 2022) traces this race-based narrative through three historical flashpoints: the Bajío riots, the Haitian Revolution, and the Yucatan’s caste war. Sabau shows how rebellions were treated as racially motivated events rather than political acts and how the racialization of popular and indigenous sectors coincided with the construction of “whiteness” in Mexico. Drawing on diverse primary sources, Sabau demonstrates how the race war paradigm was mobilized in foreign and domestic affairs and reveals the foundations of a racial state and racially stratified society that persist today.

Ethan Besser Fredrick is a graduate student in Modern Latin American history seeking his PhD at the University of Minnesota. His work focuses on the Transatlantic Catholic movements in Mexico and Spain during the early 20th century.

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Slate Books - How To!: The Upside of Uncertainty

When Trish first started working in corporate recruiting, she had wonderful co-workers, a supportive manager, opportunities for growth—it was “bliss.” But the bliss evaporated in 2020 when she got laid off during the pandemic. She’s since found a different job in the same field, but also decided to try her hand at teaching pilates part-time. Now, after burning the candle at both ends, Trish is burned out and unsure of the best path forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nathan and Susannah Furr, authors of The Upside of Uncertainty. They have some useful tools to help Trish—and all of us—find our footing in uncertain times. 

If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Bounce Back From Burnout” and “How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job.”

Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Thanks Avast.com!

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Slate Books - Working: Reporter Casey Parks on the Book She Needed to Write

This week, host June Thomas talks to reporter Casey Parks, whose new memoir Diary of a Misfit was more than a decade in the making. In the interview, Casey explains how the book started as a documentary project that focused on a person from her hometown. Then she discusses the gradual evolution of the project and her decision to make it more personal. 

After the interview, June and co-host Karen Han talk about Casey’s “need” to write the book and whether they’ve ever felt that same pull. 

In the exclusive Slate Plus segment, Casey shares what it was like to narrate the audiobook version of the memoir. She also lists some books and other works that served as inspiration for Diary of a Misfit

Send your questions about creativity and any other feedback to working@slate.com or give us a call at (304) 933-9675.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews. 

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Working. Sign up now at slate.com/workingplus to help support our work.

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